Into Temptation by Skyla Madi

Author:Skyla Madi [Madi, Skyla]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyla Madi
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

*Caleb*

Fuck.

Can I be anymore impulsive? One minute I’m locked in my pool house, drinking myself into a stupor in the dark, standing in my bathroom, razor in one hand, her photo in the other and in the next I’ve got my shoes on and I’m jogging down the road.

My chest hurt in a way it hasn’t in a long time. Why? Because tonight Cassia opened up a lethal can of worms I’ve spent years sealing. Though I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little fucked up, I’ve never had a problem with the way I lived my life. It’s depraved and empty. Every aspect of my life since I was eleven has been stark...and emotionless. I couldn’t make it better—no one could. So I learned to live with it as best I could and the only way to make their tragedies bearable was to treat them as though they never existed. I came to realize that was impossible to do at home with all the pictures on the wall and my father, reeking of disappointment and blame. I tried to move out the second I realized Dad saw me as the reason the other half of his family no longer existed, but he broke down. He persuaded me through swollen eyes and relentless tears that we needed each other.

Maybe we did.

After the deaths of my mother and Penelope, I swiftly fell out of love with the church, but I remained a part of it because it made Dad happy. I remained polite, I fake smiled, and I continued to recite the closing prayer despite how dead I felt inside.

I didn’t mind the day. Day brought distractions. It was only when night time fell...when I was alone in my bed…that it all came rushing back. I learned to stop it from happening over the years...I learned to calm the panic attacks and stop the hysterical crying.

I was seventeen when my emotions stopped working. It was like flipping a switch. One night I’m rocking back and forth and the next, I’m staring at the ceiling. I felt...dead and it didn’t scare the hell out of me when I knew it should have. Confused, I climbed out of bed, wondering if I’d unnoticeably slipped into hell. Colors were duller. In the shower, I tried fucking my hand, but even the pleasures I’d overindulged in lost their touch, and as I stood there, the water much too hot for my skin, I realized I’d been broken. By not allowing myself to feel the grief my body wanted me to feel.

Through the fogged glass I saw the razor I use to shave my face sitting next to my gel. As the searing water rained down on me and I stood there without a reaction, I pondered the thought of pushing the sharp slice of metal through my skin. Would it hurt? If it didn’t? What would I feel? Whatever it brought me, couldn’t be worse than what I was feeling.

I shut the shower off and stepped out, not caring that my bare, wet feet left puddles on the slick, gray tiles.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.